Friends without children

It all starts that day you look to the stick you just peed on and it says... pregnant 2-3 weeks....
then you know your life will change... forever...
what you might not know is that it will change in ways you did not even consider... ( ahem like you never heard this one before)
yes yes there is going to be diapers,
there is going to be poop talk,
there is going to be emotional upheaval,
you are going to turn into your parents slowly,
you are going to gain weight,
what you might not have ever imagined is that , if you live in a city, a strange phenomenon will take place....

I call it

DESERTIFICATION OF THE FRIENDS' ZONE

what I mean is that with that positive pregnancy test here should be a warning
"YOU WILL LOSE 90% OF WHO YOU THEN CALLED YOUR FRIENDS"

"No,I hear you say, I have had a baby and I still have all of my friends next to me"          Really???            Really???

Think about it and count how many of the people you used to see on a very regular basis you are still seeing now; if you have everyone still next to you count yourself lucky and smart as you chose the right people to be friends with to begin with; what happened to me however was very different.

It all started that day that me and Richard were at the hospital for our first screening, up to that we had told only 2 people about the pregnancy (and they were super happy, but hey they were pregnant and lived abroad... so nothing could be lost there) but after the scan when we got confirmed everything was ok we thought it was time to tell people.. and so it began

"hey I have to tell you some news"
"what, tell me"
"... We are expecting a baby ..." (follows an uncomfortable pause)
" Does this mean you won't be coming to my wedding???? OMG the wedding will be a disaster all of these people that can't make it"
follows more uncomfortable silence

 "hey I have to tell you some news"
"what, tell me"
"... We are expecting a baby ..."
" Oh that's fantastic, amazing, I will be there for you guys all the time, I will be like the fun aunt/uncle".
...
Be prepared for the big vanishing act, these are the people that are never to be found when you actually need them but always there when you don't to swear by their reliability.

You go through 9 months of pregnancy and everything seems fine... you don't see people too often, but hey you expected this after all you can't drink, you can't eat the same things (sushi anyone?) and let's face it you are a bit of a beached whale;
all this time holding on for when the baby comes and some normality will be acquired and slowly but surely everything will settle back into normality

....

WRONG

...

People will come see you and wonder at the baby ... some will coo and some will be terrified of even seeing the inside of a nappy, some will plainly be not interested, but seriously consider that as a goodbye as after that "POOF" they will mostly be gone

 

It is not through fault of their own, mostly it will be yours.

Unless your friends get pregnant quickly the divide between you and them will grow quickly.

They will still carry on with their carefree life clubbing, restauranting, drinking, theatreing and in general staying out of the house as much as possible.

On the other side there is you, your husband and your baby and for a very long time you will have a very varied list of conversational topics:

• Poop
• Nappies ( reusable? nappy genie? characters on them?)
• Sleeping ( and lack of it)
• Poop
• Poop
• vaccination ( and OMFG you will lose friends, acquaintances and you will rage war on this subject) 
• Poop
• and then some more poop (yes it will happen, we all said no i will never be that parent and suddenly you find yourself at the dinner table discussing consistency and colour of the above mentioned like if it were the most natural thing in the world)

You will be running home as fast as you can because you will want to spend time with your baby.
You will resent your "friends" as they still get to live the life you used to.
You suddenly will think that spending 8 hours on a Sunday in a dingy smelly pub drinking yourself silly is NOT quality time.
You will want to go out but then change your mind at the last minute as baby seems a bit down.

And you will feel all of this at the same time, a lot of the times.

And your friend slowly but surely will be pushed aside  by your parenthood... they won't like you and you won't like them
you will pretend to like each other still for a bit but by the time your baby is 3 you will have lost almost anyone ...except 2 or 3 of your old friends... the best ones?
not sure;
I probably would say the one that were interested in you more than in the activities you used to do together; or the ones that actually cared enough to stick with you while you were "that parent"

unfair? Maybe

But don't worry good chances are that you have been "that friend" before and that you will be again, you will abandon several friends through your life
It's all part of growing up
the important is to remember that it's not them it's you
don't blame them, don't resent them, just move on

Peace Out

London Fashion Week

As it is fashion week Amy wanted to participate and show us all the new trends in fashion for 2015 in the Canziani- Chiesa household:

and this is how you wear it:

Una sorpresa, un gioco e del cioccolato ( a surprise, a game and some chocolate)

"Vorrei... vorrei

Una sorpresa, un gioco e del cioccolato"
( i have tried to find the video on youtube, but it is almost impossible :( )

this is a sentence that meant a lot to me for many years;
it was part of the Italian spot for Kinder eggs .... we all loved kinder eggs,kinder chocolate bars ( con piu' latte e meno cacao); they were a staple of every body's merenda.... they are pure genius, you open, you eat and you get a game, plus in those ingenuity filled years we got the game container which could be used to shoot stuff around the playground....

Sadly Mr Ferrero died this weekend leaving all of us childern of the 80s ( and not only) with a bit of a knot in the stomach.....

without him no ferrero rocher, no nutella and no kinder eggs, in other words a very sad childhood....
( it was a very sad childhood in the USA where kinder eggs were banned as the toys inside were a choking hazard... but that's ok they could go to the local walmart to get stuff that shoots other stuff around ... )

So although today is Shrove Tuesday, pancake day, martedi grasso today in the canziani-chiesa household we celebrated Mr Ferrero...
With Amy's first Kinder egg....

Amy demonstrated why this man was a genius...

so thank you Sig. Ferrero...

we will make sure that another generation shall carry your flag...
and while we are at it we shall celebrate Pancake day with some light and totally fat free (:P) Nutella pancakes...

Ingredients

• 250 gr, flour
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1 tbsp sugar
• 2 tbsp Nutella
• 1 large egg 
• 340 ml buttermilk ( if you do not have it, use the usual trick add some lemon juice to the milk, wait 5 minutes and there you have buttermilk substitute)

How to make it

---

• Whisk together flour, baking soda, salt and sugar. In another bowl, whisk together Nutella and the egg. When smooth, beat in buttermilk. Combine the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir until just mixed.
• Heat a non stick frying pan over high heat until a drop of water on the surface skips around. Grease it with butter ( the more you use the tastier they will be... stuff the diet, we have lent for that) and drop batter into 3-inch rounds. To check that they are ready check for bubbles on the surface and check that the edges are dry. Turn over and cook for another minute or two in the other side.
• Serve immediately, with more Nutella.

Eat warm with gusto, no regrets and a sprinkle of icing sugar for good measure.

shifting paradigm: "sensory activity and educaltional play"

There is a moment in every mum's life when you realise that being Nigella is not nearly enough, so off you go on the quest on how to be the perfect mum, the one that on 5 hours sleep still has the energy to do fun activities with her kids and whose family looks like the "Mulino Bianco" one...

This week was my turn to be "that" mother, the one with the twigs in her hair trying to get everything to fit in like in a Tetris game, the one that juggles the washing machine that beeps, the cat that demand food, the husband that nurses an hungover in bed (when it is 11 am on Sunday and you have been up since 6am) and due to the beautiful English weather ( could it just snow for once instead of boring rain???) a very bored toddler.

Not considering the idea of Amy running back and forth in the sitting room shouting "PASTA PESTO AaaaAHHHHHHH" the most fun and skills developing activity to do with her  i got to my favourite pastime .... the internet .... and this is where I discovered this wonderful amazing website: "Fun at home with kids"

It is wonderful and although it is so Mulino Bianco it does almost hurt, it is full of wonderful activities and really cool things you can do with Amy.

And it is so cool that it has gone totally viral ( you know that when several of your "normal mums" friends on fb post picture of the same amazing activity at the same time) ... so here is OUR attempt at the amazing RAINBOW FOAM experiment:

In order for the experiment to be successful you will need the following:

• water
• liquid dish soap
• food colouring
• food mixer
• big container ( like a baby bath, you know the one you keep in the attic as a memory? yeas, that one!!!)

The procedure is quite complicated so please read carefully ....
Put water in bowl, add soap and food colouring, insert food mixer in the bowl, turn on to warp speed and wait ( yes yes i have a celebrity chef mixer, please mock away)

Repeat the procedure several times according to how many colours and how much foam you want to "make".... add delicately into the container ( baby bath between me and you) and this is what happens:

( green did not come up too nicely as i was stingy with the food colouring...)
Proceed to march your toddler to the bathroom ( unless it is summer than stick her outside and lock the door so to squeeze in a up of tea or a chilled Pimms)....

and wonder of wonder observe:

She truly loved it even if i must say at the beginning she looked puzzled for a bit and even asked what was she supposed to do with it.... but 3 minutes in and we were away with foam gloves, foam noses, foam dresses....







So thank you Ms Asia Citro for having opened a door to many more crazy rainy Sunday morning .... after all we can all be the "Mulino Bianco" perfect family

....
and if you want to see how it is really done do yourself a favour and check this out
"Rainbow Soap Foam"

Sunday Breakfast

... best thing about Sundays is that we can all have breakfast together, I always liked preparing big, lazy, prolonged brunches and now I have a little helper it even more enjoyable than before...

Today we had the usual eggs,bacon, tomato English breakfast, pancakes, coddled eggs with salmon and Parma ham and asparagus and a lovely  cup of tea with pain a chocolat...

when making Pain au chocolat you have 2 option, the first is restricted to pure and real domestic goddesses ( ie people with a cook, a cleaner, a nanny, and an unhealthy obsession with some cat charity)

Pain Au Chocolat (Prep Time: 180 minutes)

Ingredients

• 4 teaspoons instant dried yeast
• 1/2 cup lukewarm water
• 3 1/2 cups bread flour
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1/3 cup granulated sugar
• 3 tablespoons butter, melted and cooled
• 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
• 1 cup butter, softened
• 9 ounces bittersweet chocolate coarsely chopped
• 1 egg
• 2 tablespoons milk

Dissolve the yeast in the warm water for 5 minutes. Add the bread flour, milk, sugar, melted butter, and salt to the dissolved yeast and water and mix the dough on medium speed for about 2 minutes. If the dough is too sticky, add 1 tablespoon of extra flour at a time, until the dough is just firm enough to fold a shape.
Shape the dough into a ball and loosely cover it with plastic wrap. Allow it to rest at room temperature for 30 minutes. Roll the dough into a 10-inch by 15-inch rectangle, and then cover it loosely and allow it to rise for 40 minutes.
Brush the rectangle with the softened butter and then fold the dough into thirds, like a letter. Roll the long, thin rectangle back into the original 10-inch by 15 shape. Fold the dough into thirds, again, and then cover the dough with plastic wrap and allow it to rest in the refrigerator for 1 hour. Repeat this process one more time.
Using a sharp knife, cut the dough crosswise into 12 rectangles. Arrange 2 teaspoons of chopped chocolate across one of the short ends of the rectangle and fold that third of the dough over the chocolate, toward the center. Repeat the process on the opposite side of the dough, folding it over and tucking the end under to create a cylindrical shape. Arrange each finished brioche on a lightly greased baking sheet with at least 1 1/2 inches between each pastry. Cover them loosely with plastic wrap and allow them to rise for 45 minutes to 1 hour, until they are nearly doubled in size.
Preheat the oven to 200 grades centigrade.
Whisk the egg and 2 tablespoons milk together to make an egg wash. Brush the egg wash across the surface of each pastry.
Bake the pan au chocolate for 12 to 14 minutes, until they are puffed and golden brown.

if you do this you will be rewarded with something that looks like this:

Should you otherwise not have 3 hours to dedicate to baking while sipping tea from your favourite mug, but craving the sugary rush needed to survive yet another 5am start ( a perfectly acceptable time for your loved toddler to demand you watch Ponyo together) you could do this:


Open the fridge and see the light:

( i strongly suggest you have several of these stacked in your fridge, they are a life savior solution and they also come in croissant, cinnamon swirl variety and they work a treat) ( thank you jus-Rol )


and get your toddler to help, they love it, you have a perfect treat and your husband is none the wiser and still think you better then Nigella :P, and they do look like this:

Here is Amy showing you all how easy it is:

Sleeping Beauties

... i sense a pattern developing here...
look what happened in 2012...

and then again in 2013

and again this morning....

we did not even change beddings :P

i am starting to think one day i will look back at these moments ad they will taste like home

Per i due anni di Amy

... Shamlessy stolen

Bambina i miei sogni sono la follia, il coraggio, l'ambizione e l'irrequietezza. La fortuna degli amori e il delirio della solitudine. Il gusto per le comete, per l'acqua e per gli uomini. Desidero per te intelligenza e ingegno. Uno sguardo curioso, un naso dotato di memoria, una bocca che sorrida e maledica con precisione divina, gambe che non invecchino, un pianto in grado di restituirti la fierezza. Ti auguro di avere il senso del tempo che hanno le stelle, la tenacia delle formiche, il dubbio dei templi. Spero tu abbia fede negli auguri,  nella voce dei morti, nella bocca degli avventurieri, nella pace degli uomini che dimenticano il proprio destino, nella forza dei tuoi ricordi e nel futuro come promessa che contiene tutto cio' che non ti e' ancora ccaduto.