The birth ...Part 1

i wake up in the middle of the night ... I feel funny ... what time is it?
3.54am
..mmm shall i go to the loo, gosh i feel really funny..
this could not be it, could it???

This is how it began, i just woke up in the middle of the night with a funny tingling sensation in my tummy... it was a forgotten feeling, like when i used to get my period ( 9 months ago) ... I went to sleep in the spare bedroom, did not want to bother Richard, after all it was the weekend and he sleeps in at the weekend...

At 7.00am i went to the loo again and it felt funny, like i was going without really wanting to go
( yes my water broke...)
and at 9.00 am i was texting Francesca telling her that maybe it was not ideal for her to come over for lunch... I might be having a baby ...
at 9.30 i woke Richard up, just in case
at 10.00 am it was clear i was having contractions...
we called the hospital and they told us to go in as my water broke, even if the contractions were not close enough to each other...
Got a taxi, quite painful, and this is what i looked like in the hospital:

 Please let me in was the only thing i could think of....

Trying to sleep and Richard arguing that i was squashing the baby...

... We did get in at about 11.00 am, but after a quick visit where they established the baby was fine and gave me a sweep (No need to elaborate on this) they sent me home...

At home we alternated between baths, paracetamols, Stargate SG-1 as pain relief methods, but it was increasingly clear hell was near, the pain was excruciating and i literally could not see more than 10 cm ahead of my nose...

By 6 pm i could not take it anymore and forced Richard to go, again to the hospital, and i parked myself in the waiting area ... got in at 7pm and after another horrible visit (where i vomited my heart out) they declared the baby had moved and now its back was facing my back, hence the terrible pain, the non dilation (contraction were still too far apart and too short), and the horrible pain...
I demanded pain relief, they refused, i demanded it again
they gave me pethidine...
Finally after almost a full day i could see again, they parked me in a bed and let me spend the night...
I sent Richard home to sleep..
how did i look???

39 + 1

yesterday was a very peculiar day..
last day at work ... emotional... and i am now very sure some of the guys there ARE amazing and i will thoroughly miss them....
i am not very good with goodbyes, even the last day of school used to be very taxing for me; possibly because i am an only child... but that's just they way it has always been....
so i did ask everyone to pretend yesterday was a very normal day, and that i would be back on Monday...
they were good, they were very good...
they kept  silent (yes i did see the cards going around, but hey i was expecting at least a bloody card :P)
and then when it was time for me to go they dished out this:

 Carramba what a surprise somebody said.....

I had a cake (well i try not to eat cake, but this was red velvet  ... so i stole bites while nobody was looking :P:P:P:P)

and the present, the present....
yes there were the lovely mini baby grows and the blankets (which were delightful and so so tasteful... you know who you are and you are always a guarantee of classy gifts)

they gave us a vibrating chair ... (OK that sounds wrong, but it is true)
i wanted one, but then i did not wanted one, but then i wanted one

                                                    

So it was so so perfect, i got so emotional it was ridiculous (my blood  pressure shoot up and the midwife had to take it twice yesterday.....)

this caused me to break in a flood of tears

and the hormones did not help ....i had to hide in the bathroom several times... i do not like to break down like that at work, but this was the result....

 And then i was off (after arranging for poor Richard to go and pick up the stuff at the office ... with the strike and everything he came home at 10pm)

i had to go and see the midwife....

cried on the bus as all of my life as i have known it passed me by ... hoping to hear baby is well and ready to come out ...
arrived at the midwife house only 1 hour before my appointment..
they made me wait 1 hour (this did not help my mood)

as usual i saw a midwife that i had never saw before (please understand i think all of the midwives i have seen are amazing, but bloody hell i did see 7 of them since this started)
blood pressure = a bit high but ok
pee = free from protein
bump size = increased 2 cm
baby's heart = perfect
...
baby position = DID NOT ENGAGE

F***K it's not coming out, is it?
shit i have been dreading this moment for 8 months - i knew this would happen, but still
i did not want to hear it...,
membrane sweep has been booked for the 2nd of July.....
lost will to leave
got home (took me 3 hours)
cried like a bleeming baby....

            

Last day at work

And so the la\st day at working is looming
... tomorrow for the first time in my life I will be leaving work not to return for 4 months ....
which in working time is an eternity...
I haven't had such a long break since university holidays time....
I feel a bit apprehensive and confused
everyone is pretending to care and smile, but i know they do not really care too much and i know after 2 weeks it will be like i have never been there....
but what about me? How do i really feel?
I am a bit scared, scared of not being able to cope, scared of becoming my mother (OMFG please make it NOT so), scared of loosing myself

For the first time in my life i will go back one day far from now with a very different mentality
work will not be as important as it is now
i know it won't but i can't imagine how it will happen
 i am both curious and worried
....
Work, study; success in these fields has been all i have ever known and cared for half my life
i am at the brink of a truly momentous change
one of the few times in life when YOU KNOW everything WILL change
it's not just an idea, you know it will happen
well in the meantime let's enjoy the time left

Here is Barbara riding off into the distance and the sunset....
verso nuove e meravigliose avventure
( Bonanaza's theme plays in the distance)

38 + 2

it's been a long time, but i have been very lazy ...
we got to 38 weeks and i am really really ready to let the bump go...
please do come out soon as now my bladder needs voiding every 45 minutes or 35 meters, whichever is the greatest...
my back is constantly in pain (blocked several times in bed)
my stomach is the playground for baby feet (resulting in amazingly painful heartburn)
my pelvis is grated by pain and aches
oh i could go on, but i think a picture is worth more than a thousand words:

Baby we waited for you for 8.3 months...please come early like your mum (2 weeks early) and your dad (2 weeks early)...
i am a bit done with looking like this from the side:

but mostly this is painful...
funny to look at, but Frikin painful:

So yes we are ready ...
we even have your Moses basket, and the cot soon ...
WE ARE WAITING FOR YOU MY PICCINO